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   I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people.  - John Lennon



  Fuck you Antigonish.

Dying is an art, like everything else.



When I need to escape the world
I turn to solitude for help
For he and I, we talk for hours
Of love, life and loneliness
Some may say I'm crazy
But solitude doesn't judge
Instead he will sit and listen
To all my thoughts and dreams
Though solitude can only stay a while
I make the best of our time
When solitude does leave me
Then it is time to meet reality
 


 ...I'm at work and I miss my dog.



 I'm at work until 4 - shoot me in the eye and poke my ribs with a sharp pencil


 I'm bored. When Im bored I think. I need some good music and to lay in a field. Stoned. 


 In love, one and one are one. 


 

Drugs are a bet with your mind.



We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.
 



 Go to bed Jenn-face. However, I dying for affection. Loving affection - by a female (no offence to the male gender) ...or Im horny. I think its both. I hate wearing my heart on my sleeve and being attracted to people I don't even really know. Fuck Antigonish. 

 I should pack, but i complain and eat too much cheese. I like my cheese.

 Go to bed Jenn, you have to work at 8 tomorrow. .... I just can't sleep. I just want to scream but no one will hear me.

I want to live in a chocolate factory.




People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend.
 


 I want to go to the Tall and Small. Even better, with a beautiful lady.

Hi Mom, Hi Dad!


I'm 21 years old for F sakes. I shouldnt be trying to transform myself into some sort of happy powerranger.

 I wish girls werent so dramatic. I wish sex wouldnt end, I wish I could just feel free like a bird. No cares, no worries. Just plain happiness.

 I'm tired of being ripped apart inside. Gettin high, listening to radiohead. eating special K.

 I had a good friend last year, things a re different now. She doesnt invite me to anything and ignores me. I've done wrong but it was october. It hurts how she doesnt even want to go for coffee with me. Its her bday tomorrow. She didnt even wish me one, so I feel like I shouldnt wish her on as well. However, my hearts to soft and I'll feel bad for a month. 

 Everyone is forgetting I exist, and I think its for the best. 

  The feeling I get is a kind of heavy, sort of gloomy feeling, like of someone not quite sure about anything...i'd like to do one just..umm...of being totally home.